She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
