this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize