Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Two words: nipple clamps
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