The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
