sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
