I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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