She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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