Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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