I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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