Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
