Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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