i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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