Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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