i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
