Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
