is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
