whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
