We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
