She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
