if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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