i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
