Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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