I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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