Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
