And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
