butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize