Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
