Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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