Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Actions speak louder than pants.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
