You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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