The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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