4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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