More tranny stories later!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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