went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize