I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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