How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i wish my penis had a tongue
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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