what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize