Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
