Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
