SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
