Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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