hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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