You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
