You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so let's talk penis.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
