she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
