Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
