I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize