But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
