Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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