what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
