People in love make me want to vomit
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize