make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
