Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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