I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
