At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
the condom got lost in my hair
i think i have herpe
just one?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
