can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
