its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
