I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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